I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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