i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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