I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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