Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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