we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
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I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
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I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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