operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize