i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
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