I can text with my tongue
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
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He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
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Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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