would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize