We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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