You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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