found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize