fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
You smell like stripper and shame
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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