i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
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We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
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I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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