He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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