Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
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Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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