Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
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