areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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