she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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