i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
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I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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