On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
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She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
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I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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