Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Randomize