mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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