i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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