Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize