You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're making bets on your personal life
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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