He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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