I think i peed on brittanys purse
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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