My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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