you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
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About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize