I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
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wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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