he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Randomize