come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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