im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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