So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
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Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Did I show you my penis last night?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
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Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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