she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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