his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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