you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Randomize