Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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