# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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