Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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