I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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