that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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