a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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