I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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