You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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