I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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