Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
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the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
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