i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
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I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
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I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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