I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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